at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
