This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
