No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
