Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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