and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
