You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
