Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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