I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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