An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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