I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
