Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
