My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
