Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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