Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
