I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
