Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Farmville is her only friend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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