I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
