I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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