Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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