so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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