I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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