Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
