I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
