I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
