People with herpes should wear stickers.
Fuck appropriateness.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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