Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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