when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
