I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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