he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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