grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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