hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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