We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
