I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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