We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
