I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
