She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
