Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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