as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
