Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
