careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Randomize
