Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
