Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
