all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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