am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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