The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
