she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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