god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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