Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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