There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
