If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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