Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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