Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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