I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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