i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
