I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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